She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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