One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
