You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
