he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
