So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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