Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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