forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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