about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize