What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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