She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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