you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
