best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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