Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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