i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
