her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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