i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
