she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize