yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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