so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize