yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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