so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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