I could have mohawked her pubes.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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