im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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