Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
