i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize