I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
