She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
