So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
