I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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