Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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