new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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