i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
