i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My vagina just recognized that song.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize