I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My vagina is very pro this idea
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