I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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