Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
