I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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