i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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