he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
