So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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