i would punch a child for taco bell
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
