And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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