Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
