I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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