He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
