I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
