i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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