haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
