Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
