i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
