Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
