hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
