Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
