he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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