my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
