Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize