you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
