DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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