now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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