Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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